/zellig/ - Ongezellig

so how's it going as of now?

>>67057
We're waiting for the last storyboards to be completed

>>67058
good to hear. I have a friend who wants to help with the animations and stuff. Are you willing to accept?

>>67059
Sure

>>66994
I don't know if this has been mentioned in the Telegram channel, but the translation has glaring mistakes. It wasn't properly researched or proofread, and its grammar, capitalization, and punctuation are a mess because they were obviously barely edited from the translation service used.
>mayamail 1
The end of the penultimate sentence is appended with "- babysitting".
>mayamail 2
Anne was fucking the boy she was hiding with, not flirting with him.
>mayamail 3
Wednesday was pakjesavond, not sinterklaas, and is referred to as such in the first sentence.

Illusions/happy should be translated as delusion or delusions.

Kruidnoten's TN should explain that these are the pastries she eats.

Mymy doesn't say "the Cabinet of the Jack of Spades," she says "the schoppenboer cabinet".

Translations should always maintain the capitalization presented.

If there are TNs, they should only be after the use of native words, and translated native words should never have TNs.

TNs should never be guesses.

In prose, TNs should be placed at the end of the chapter or work or at the bottom of the page, with reference numbers in the text directing to them where they are relevant, after the first use of the word.
>mayamail 4
She was "simsing", playing the Sims.
>mayamail 8
Korfball should have a TN.
>mayamail 11
Rozenactie means rose campaign, but it's not a school shop. It's a common type of charity campaign where people buy roses to give or send to each other on Valentine's Day.

Very was prolonged by the same amount as a previous elongation, but but and why have artificial elongations not reflective of how they're presented here.

Then was unnecessarily inserted after but.

>>67061
Through extensive research (google) and conversations with dutchfolx, we got most if not all of this right in our script, gemmy observation doe

>>67060
alright so how do I introduce him to you guys and stuff?

>>67061
We did use another, more correct version for the translation, and these mistakes are already fixed (for example Maya says "Pippi Langklomp" which is a play on "Longstockings" but literally means "Long clomps". I have a Dutchman around especially since we already knew the translation wasn't 100% correct
>>67063
There's a telegram link up, he should join it and then we can explain him everything there

>>67055
I don't know if it's too late to make suggestions, and I know this is only one page of a two page storyboard, but I think the first five scenes should be the establishing shots of the episode, since the framing device of the series is Maya typing while giving her perspective as an unreliable narrator. The first half of this episode's source makes attempts to subvert the established structure of previous entries by obfuscating how it's being written while its events are occurring.

I think it would be better to have the first five scenes be the establishing shots of the episode, ending on panel 5 but from a perspective on the other side of the table and having Coco smile at the camera. From here, the camera would whip around to the glow of the candles on Maya's face or eyes as she's implied to be sitting across from Coco. Maya's narration of the episode, with accompanying keyboard typing, would begin here. She would reflect on how she thought about throwing herself down the stairs, then imagine herself crumpled at the bottom of them from her current position at the top of the stairs, her parents and siblings around her. The scene would cut to Maya's perspective on the floor as she looks past her hunched over parents in the foreground and at Coco looking at her with a doubtful, or maybe hurt, expression. Mymy would be small in the background for comedy. Everyone but Maya would be in their pajamas, since Maya would have tried to stage this without anyone around to see it, leaving early morning or late night as the best options with the obvious hole in her plan being reflected in the contrivance of her tripping over her shoes despite hardly ever going outside.

"What would Coco think if I fell down the stairs?" would play in the background as the scene softly zooms in on Coco's face with a mounting noise (the kind from the original series) before returning to a perspective of looking up at Maya still standing at the top of the stairs, having just thought of this. She would turn on a heel and speed off out of frame to go back to her room, and this would be followed by a door slam preceding a cut to a closeup of her door or Mymy or Coco poking their heads out of their doors to see what happened for comedy, followed by the cut to the closeup. As she thinks about how she would just let Coco invite her downstairs on the day of the party, the shot would zoom out to reveal half of the other doors. Coco's door, slightly ajar, would have a balloon struggle to come out before hanging outside of the door like it currently does. The next scene would be Maya's face or eyes as the glow of the computer screen is on it, the display reflected on her face, preluding the reality of the shot of Maya at the start of the episode either being what Coco hoped to see or what Maya hoped would have happened.

After reflecting on the previous entry by rewriting her list, the penultimate line would be typed with the current "fast typing" scene, followed by the keyboard repositioning and enter scenes, before a cut to returning to Coco about to blow out the candles. The following whip around would reveal no one, the stairs dominating the background as they take focus. Maya would begin narrating again, this time while trying to hold back tears. This would be conveyed with slower, quieter typing under narration in a shaky voice, finishing with the teardrop falling on the desk and soft sobbing as Maya is hunched over it. There would be a blowing noise to transition to a cut to black, and a loud cheer of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" soon after. A short silence would occur before the credits roll, out of focus pictures of what Maya imagines she would have done at the party in the background as an offkey instrumental of the outro plays.

You could have the shot return to Coco's face, her smile twitching, after the second whip around and have that be where the final narration starts. That might break narrative perspective doebeit.
>>67062
>>67064
I'm glad to hear you have a better translation. Will you post the storyboards for community input (really my input doebeit) once they're complete?

>>67065
It's a random page from one of the parts, this isn't actually the start. It was posted because it was Coco's birthday at the time
Also we can talk this out on the 'gram, we mostly don't post the storyboards because it would ruin the surprise a bit, and then create expectations, we're not some professional studio but chuds. The critic is appreciated and I can't really talk about it here without spoilering the rest of the script
Also yeah the storyboards will be released when the project/parts are done, we're not greedy

>>67066
>It's a random page from one of the parts, this isn't actually the start
I mentioned that in the first sentence doe.
>Also we can talk this out on the 'gram
By the time I have a phone number to use for an account, you guys may have finished storyboarding. I could post ideas in the thread since I already have an outline of how the Mayamails would play out in my mind, but that comes with its own problems and may as well be ideasguying. I have no experience animating, so I wouldn't be able to help with that even if I join the 'gram.
>we mostly don't post the storyboards because it would ruin the surprise a bit, and then create expectations, we're not some professional studio but chuds
I don't think expectations would get too high if you posted them here. I think the zarty will be glad enough to even have even one of the mails animated. Could be bias talking doe.
>The critic is appreciated
I'm glad, but I should have read more of the thread. My assumption of the project seems to be different from its reality.
>Also yeah the storyboards will be released when the project/parts are done, we're not greedy
That's good to hear.

Even doe I mentioned ideasguying, I have some more minor suggestions so the series would fit the main series and comics.

Somewhere within Mails 3-6, Maya could remember having to have her cat put down because of Coco's allergies when they were kids, or at least look at a photo of herself with the cat, to connect to that one comic and Massa's idea of an episode about Maya's cat.

If you give Mymy's sister an arc in the background to set up the comic of her with a poster of Mymy, I think she should only start appearing in Mail 7, at the mall. Mymy could start or stop attacking the mall Santa because she noticed her.

I always assumed Maya met her imaginary friends after the Mayamails, but it would make more sense for her to have met them beforehand, letting her imagine herself as Anne Frank and her male imaginary friend as the boy in Mail 1, giving her a reason to feel bad about imagining hidden sex because she knows he's just a random boy.

Likewise, Mail 9 could end with her imagining her imaginary friends as her band members playing a punk version of the ending theme.

Mail 12 could have Maya receive the second rose then look around the room at the faces of the boys in her class. The camera would switch between closeups of them to represent Maya's POV, and they would look back at her without any interest, at Coco with interest, or off into space because they're high or airheaded. Each closeup would have an accompanying audio cue fitting their character. She wouldn't favor any of them over any other, and may not even have commentary on them at all. To discourage shipping, the scene would cut to the outside of the classroom as she gets up to ask one of them who gave it to her. This would be followed by a loud "WHAT?!" that would spook the birds in the area. The scene would go back to the classroom, Coco explaining the situation while the tinnitus noise and heartbeats play in a crescendo, Maya tearing the rose(s) apart in retaliation when they reach their climax. She would storm out before the camera cuts back to the classroom from the doorway, giving a view of how the class, especially Coco, takes it, followed by a scene transition, either to the next day or whatever else you guys have planned.

This last idea is less of a suggestion to tie into the lore and more of a suggestion to fix Massa's problem. Making Adam, the big, weirdly drawn student with the goatee and evil-looking face who Massa said he had no idea what to do with, be the class bully or something could be interesting. Massa had plans for an episode where a classmate bullies Maya, only to be bullied back by Coco until he goes insane, and another episode idea had Mymy's sister transfer into class. It would kill two birds with one stone. She would fill the missing seat left by Adam until she went back to Japan. While you're obviously not adapting those ideas, having a detail like that could help things be more dynamic and give an obvious downside to Coco's personality and relationships with others, helping any future projects.

>>67067
>By the time I have a phone number to use for an account, you guys may have finished storyboarding
Eh, it's easier to have a 1:1 talk there
>I don't think expectations would get too high
See: Project GOY and every other hyperhyped project
>My assumption of the project seems to be different from its reality
Quite
>Maya could remember having to have her cat put down
The cat is still alive btw, it was transferred to Maya's grandparents
>If you give Mymy's sister an arc in the background to set up the comic of her with a poster of Mymy, I think she should only start appearing in Mail 7
Mymy is more of a one dimensional character even in the mayamails, she screams a lot and does not get as much details, as let's say, Coco (even Zoey gets more). She does appear here and there but she's definitely not the focus
>her imaginary friends after the Mayamails
We actually used this, so no imaginary friends this time. But there's something similar to that
>Mail 9 could end with her imagining her imaginary friends as her band members playing a punk version of the ending theme
See above
>Mail 12 could have Maya receive the second rose then look around the room at the faces of the boys in her class
No comment (trvst the plQn)
>Adam
Interesting, but yeah no he's going to be a bc

>>67068
>Eh, it's easier to have a 1:1 talk there
>Quite
Sorry if it read like I was imposing on the project with presumptions on how I think it should be. I'm enthusiastic about the project.
>The cat is still alive btw, it was transferred to Maya's grandparents
I conflated the cat dying episode idea from the Q&A and it being given to her grandparents as it being put down. My fault.
>Mymy is more of a one dimensional character even in the mayamails
Yeah, but the mayamails are from Maya's perspective. She was more focused on how disruptive Mymy was being rather than why, and how dismissive people are of the why of her antics seems like it could be expanded on. The Q&A had Mymy raceswap herself to hide from her sister and primarily hate Belgians (both coal doebeit), so I thought it would make sense to have Mymy do something as a prelude to the comic and idea where her sister looks for her. It was really just a poorly worded suggestion because I had a misplaced caution that it would be tempting to use her.
>We actually used this
>See above
I had a feeling my sentiment about their placement was common. Maya would have commented on her imaginary friends or meeting them in her journal if they were before mayamails. Still, I thought they'd be a good idea for characters to use for when Maya imagines things.
>trvst the plQn
I'm looking forward to it.
>he's going to be a bc
I didn't write that idea with him as a main character. Something like him throwing paper or blowing spitballs at the back of the heads of other students in a classroom scene or doing something devilish for comedy in the background of Coco's party like pour punch on a houseplant would get the message across.

>>67069
>I'm enthusiastic about the project
I know you are, I don't get mad if people are curious or want to help, I think this was a fun way to get lurkers to read on how some things will be
>so I thought it would make sense to have Mymy do something as a prelude to the comic and idea where her sister looks for her
Well she does ONE thing that's vaguely related to that, but again not the main focus
>for characters to use for when Maya imagines things
Oh yeah the Zaryan assigned to do those will have lots of fun
>I didn't write that idea with him as a main character
Of course, those are like the "little details", which will get added later. After all, you can't really decorate a house that is yet to be built

>>67061
>>67065
>>67067
>>67069
>>67069
>>67070
yapolympics ???

adam mentioned

The storyboards are done

Man, fuck Valentine am I right

any progress on this is it up to a drawing or animating stage yet i want 2 join but i don't have a burner phone number to use for (((telegram)))

>>67075
We are recording the voicelines with real voice actors right now. Just hide your name and phone number on telegram if you want to join.

>>67076
I'm not joining your 'cord in disguise

>>67077
>everything I don't like is a 'cord
>>67075
Audio, music, voicelines

>>77501
Even though its still active, we are lauging at you in telegramcord rn

Pray for those poor Zaryan souls that took the bait and joined that Mossad owned Telegram group, we will never get to see them on this site ever again.

>>78190
meds were still here

>>78190
We're actually making the backgrounds now

dead project

>>78302
Tsmt

>>78302
almost done doe, we just need to put clothes on them

>>78306
geg

>>78306
just leave them naked, I want to see Coco's breast(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>78311
the left or the right one?

>>78311
MOOOOOOOODSSSS ZOOOOOOOOOOOOTT BAN HIMMMMM!!!!!
>>78314
HIM TOOOOOOOOO, I WANT THE BOTH OF THEM BANNED RIGHT NOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

>>78324
go back reelsclitty

>>78311
The 4chan migrants are coming, it's over

>>78311
The Great Cuckset and its consequences on zellig society

>>78328
It's falseflag by Legion 'cord doebeit

>>78330
>it's da cÖÖrd
My money on xhim being some rapefugee from /co/

>>78324
Ok thank you modssss I :transheart: you, mwah

>3 months ago
not like this…

>>99064
antizootcacas, your response?

Is anyone still working on this project lol

I thought you guys cancelled it out of spite

>>99068
We are, in fact it's being animated right now

>>99074
If that's the case, then drop some storyboards for us to overanalyze

>>99078
Whatever you say Mr Snopes
>>99080
Thinking about it, not like I didn't do it before