No.36377
>2025
>Go to the zarty
>Get immediately redirected to BLACKED.COM (page is translated in Bulgarian)
>Coco racebait flashes across the screen and my credit card credentials automatically fill out the fields in the login page
>Close the 1488 new tabs and automatic downloads
>Finally manage to reach /zellig/, the board where all my discord friends reside
>'p link on page 1, skipped
>open the agugu thread
>tons and tons of .gif all with a simple caption
>"Agugu will always be a gem"
>The gifs cut out to tranny rape porn after a while
>Change threads and post in the only one where the last reply isn't from 2 days ago
>Try to reply to a guy defending an AOC below 14 years of age
>Post window gives "Your request took to long to submit and didn't go through" 4 times in a row
>Finally manage to post after sacrificing a part of my liver to Zoot and chanting the entirety of the Ongezellig script in Flemish
>Refresh like a maniac expecting an immediate response
>Didn't get any, change boards
>Go to /qa/
>It's all shemmy immigrants, posting about their autistic obsessions
>Site crashes
>Reload
>Check /raid/, read the first thread
>"We should dox this literal who tranny because xhe didn't send me photos of his massive FUTA just for being an incel loser. I also browse r/zellig"
>Nothingburger, I move on
>Mymy racebait flashes across the screen for 1 second after opening up /v/
>There's a hub for different games now
>Choose the schoolocaust one
>My home phone suddenly rings as soon as I click on that
>"You have to pay a fee to play this experience."
>Alright
>Play and manage to get a 2:53, not good not bad
>In the meantime I check /zellig/ again, and see that some janny decided to leak my entire post history and use a redtext edit on my own post
>It reads "OH I AM A NORMALCUCK YES I AM A NORMALCUCK"
>Whatever
>Post a shitty 'jak+'zellig video I've made a couple of days ago
>"Only .webm files are supported"
>Waste 3 hours converting it
>Finally post it
>Get 1 reply
>"YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PEDO!!!" - PINGAS MAN!
>Report it
>Nice.reddit.jpg
>In the meantime someone makes a post about R_Terra
>I reply expressing my distaste for that guy
>Get banned permanently
>"You've been a little too real for our trans kween."
>There's 'p attached to the image ban pic
>"Greet the feds for me"
>My computer starts to overheat, probably because of the dataminers Zuz put on the website
>Blue screen of death
>Ok
>Use my phone, decide to open (((Youtube))) in search of new zems
>Find something that isn't an Ongezellig AI Cover
>It's a poorly edited sonnenrad on a still image of Mymy
>I reply "zem"
>App immediately freezes
>Redirects me to my browser and forces me to take a "Good Goy test" due to the last comment I've made
>My IP is also flashing brightly on top of the screen, with a timer counting down from 3 minutes
>"Pierre comments on the fact that there are too many black people in the neighbourhood. Has he infringed on our Terms of Service?"
>Choose "Yes"
>Get rewarded with 13 Youtube Social credits and my name 3 positions higher on the Community Social Acceptance Index
>Tired of Youtube, decide to check Twitter instead
>Search for "Ongezellig"
>Project ROY has been outed for posting 'p again, but they swear the comic is getting done before September 2026
>The rest is just coaly OC
>Reply to a random post saying "Brimstone"
>Someone knocks on my door
>It's Zoot himself
>He speaks in a very accented English
>He's demanding me to become part of his own animator team to continue Zigle Zogle
>"But didn't you cancel it?"
>He says it's just a money laundering scheme to actually get Massa to pick up Ongezellig again
>I try to remind him that Massa died of cancer around September 2024
>Doesn't listen, he takes me by force
>I am never heard of again
No.36378
bbc or bwc
No.36380
This will be the zarty in 2025 if Harris wins
No.36397
gemerald
No.46472
Bumping this post for relevancy
No.47178
3 month old gem on the log
we take those
No.54540
its time
No.73330
Up for relevance once again