Markup /drenthe/27743

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and with all this said, i don't see a point in living on this world, i've seen how decrepit you become as you get older, massa taught me that you lose your soul as you grow, why would he drop something as beautiful as ongezellig if he had a soul?

i don't belong here, the society i was born in is loud and extroverted, third world, i don't believe in nihilism though as i've found certain meaning through maya, maybe if i was born a dutch boy i could find more reasons to enjoy life, but i wasn't, and this problem is now inherent in me as race is inherent

this doesn't mean i want to take my life nor that i have rejected god, but i understand that just because god exists doesn't mean that all problems or bad things are gonna be automatically fixed, my case is just one of those natural bad things that happen on this world 

i will get a job soon, i think what will get me through is getting maya plushies, maya pillows and maya flags, i don't desire anything but, i hate this society and i won't do anything worthwhile for it, it deserves to burn, hopefully i will be able to sleep forever soon and not lose my soul as the years pass, maybe god will be merciful and give me a chance to live in the ongezellig world