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>>34172
>How did you overall work through it and how was it for you?
The short answer is by God's grace. I don't want to sound like I'm proselytizing or forcing my faith on you when I say this. However, I really cannot attribute my healing so far to anything else.
The long answer is that it depends on what specifically you mean by "it". I should clarify that I haven't fully worked through everything yet. Also, there are certain struggles you have mentioned, such as the lack of a father figure, that I have not personally dealt with. Even so, I can still relate to most of what you've described. I'll describe my journey through the battles I believe we're both fighting as best I can.
>depression and suicidal tendencies
This is probably where I've improved the most. Firstly, some context: I still don't fully understand what caused my depression. Even so, I think one its main causes was a deeply seated insecurity and dissatisfaction with who I was. A lot of this insecurity came from difficulties interacting with peers at school. From an early age, AuDHD made me act in odd and sometimes inappropriate ways (and still does), and my peers (even my childhood friends) took advantage of that. I was bullied fairly often. Heck, entire rooms full of classmates have all laughed and jeered right at me on more than one occasion. This repeated (and often harsh) rejection wore down my self esteem and caused me to increasingly isolate myself. By my early teens, I had become a suicidal recluse who formed parasocial relationships with fictional characters, who never mistreated him for being weird or awkward.