Markup /qa/11868

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>>11858
I fucking hate my life. It's the same shit every day with the same annoying shitty people, in this shitty world. And I am so goddamn sick of it. And guess what? There isn't jack fucking shit I can do about it. I'm helpless and powerless, I don't feel like I've grown, I still feel like I've gotten nowhere, If it's not something in my personal life, I seethe at something jewish or something that pisses me off somwhere else in the world. Decadence and hedonism only feel good for a moment, but I still feel empty. I suppose that just how the modern man goes through life now; they either enjoy blissful hedonism, or end up depressed and bitter, since the death of God, of course. My faith pulls me to him, I want to be a fool for Christ, but my monotonous, bitter, everday struggles cloud my soul, and I suffocate myself. I am inspired by the works of Fr. Seraphim Rose, and life of St. Haralambos, to live free of the world, be it pleasure, money, praise, is one thing I desire deeply, yet, I show that I am weak. Am I even worth my own thoughts and time? Should I even bother? I know those are the words from the tongue of Satan, but is he right? What if tomorrow never comes? Am I just to be yet another soul in hell. I feel sorry for God, who thought I could ever change.