Markup /brabant/7867

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I gust wanted to tell my situation right now my parents are separeted and hate eachother Im the middle child and I have a sister and a brother my mother prefers my sister and my dad side of the family prefers my brother leaving me in the middle with no one really caring for me exept my one of my uncle which has probably noticed that Im kind of being left out.
I dont really know why im not loved as much as the others from  my memory it was always like this even when my parents where togheter I was the one that got beat more, No I was the only one that was beat for my whole five years of elemantary school, after those years my mom (which was the main one that beat me) told me that She was so sorry about beating me and that the main fault where my teachers who didnt "see my problems". 
Rn with my dad Im always not the priority or Im even out of the picture I need to pay for my trip on the train or bus if I want to go somewhere or take my old ass bike because He dosent want to or He needs to take my sister or my brother somewhere or both of them try to convince me that the other is evil and they try to manipulate me to have a better deal with the gudge for more money I guess.  I have a million different things that I would like to talk about but my if They found out idk what is going to happend.
I dont really know what Im going to do  in the future probably going to kill myself when Im 30 or 35 if all my shitty plans fail and I have nothing to live for, unless Studio Massa continues Ongezellig I really like that show No one in my family or my friends know tho 
Anyway I would really like to hear your thoughts on my situation